Wednesday 27 May 2015

Coping With Criticism


Criticism is something you can avoid easily by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.
- Aristotle

Being a volunteer treasurer can be difficult. Not everything to do with your finances is in your control. So how do you cope with criticism when people think you should have done something better or differently?

The natural reaction is to be hurt and angry, but neither of those emotions are positive. They won’t get you anywhere, but you do need to allow yourself time to get the emotions out of your system before you take any sort of action.

A couple of years ago we brought you a post that offered some constructive ideas. Called “Have You Got Critics?’ The post covered 5 steps in the coping process. There is one key point from that post that I’d like to remind you of.

It's about them, not you.

"If you're truly being criticised unfairly, then it's likely the other person has got some background issues that are feeding their maniacal nastiness. Pity them. Life is too short to get wound up by someone else's drama.

May you have many days free of critics, backstabbers, gossips, and other yuckiness! If not, stuff 'em! You're better than all that."

Criticism is the first weapon people call on when they feel challenged by something you’ve done. It might be as small as asking them to explain their expenditure or as large as pushing them to change the accounting processes within the NFP. Either way, the reaction is either defensive or fearful, and the criticism is not really targeting you.

How do you know if the criticism is real?

The answer lies in these 3 steps.

1. Stop and listen to what is being said. Suspend your judgement and hold back your emotions so you can hear without bias.

2. Consider who is speaking. How credible are they? How valid might their point be? Alternatively, is it possible that they have misunderstood what you said, or might need more information to fill in the gaps in their understanding?

3. Consider the outcome of giving in to their criticism. What would change? What project might be halted? Is there an agenda behind the criticism that you need to pay attention to.


When you have thought through each of these steps, you will know if the criticism is valid or if it’s really nothing to do with you. Then you are in the right head space to choose what action you need to take, if any.